Sunday, August 29, 2010

Is the Grass Greener on the Other Side?

I apologize for the lack in posts lately! I have been so busy, but it doesn't feel like I've accomplished anything! Oy!

The reason I have been so busy is because I started back at my old job, on a very temporary basis, at the beginning of August. They called me in to help out as there were a lot of people that were on vacation and didn't have enough people to cover. I have been feeling lately like I'm not contributing enough at home. I have had a job since I was 14 years old, so not contributing financially has been hard for me since staying home. So when my old office called I jumped at the thought of being able to add to our financial situation. The first day was great, the kids were happy, I got to get out of the house and feel useful. Then it has gone downhill from there. The kids scream every time I leave, which kills me every time, I have dealt with the same junk that I dealt with before I left in cleaning up other people's mistakes, and coming home in a bad mood. Luckily I only work on the days that my husband has off, so the kids don't have to go to daycare or to someone else's house, so he has made sure the house is clean and does my chores for me while I'm gone.
The problem I have is that my whole system is thrown off now! I am tired after the kids go to bed, which is when I sew or do my other fun things, my laundry situation has become this demon that growls at me every time I walk passed a basket full of clean clothes that need to be folded, and I don't feel like I am helping in any way! It has been so hard as I have already missed some big milestones with our son and my daughter has been acting out a lot. Yes, having extra money has been nice, but is it really worth it?

Well, I have learned a lot from these past few weeks. 1. I have the best husband ever! The house is clean when I come home, the kids are either napping or eating snacks when I get home, and they have had a good day together. 2. I enjoy having a reason to get dressed up and have makeup on! Man, I missed that! 3. The only reason I wanted to work was to contribute to our bills and maybe have some extra to do more projects but I have been too busy to do any projects at all! 4. I have found a new joy in being home. I decided to stay home the day we found out baby #2 was on the way and I was so excited about it, but I admit, a little naive about what my job would entail. I am grateful that I have had this chance to see what it would be like to have a job and kids and I have to say kudos to those that can make it work, but I am not one of them!
So, no, the grass is not greener on the other side, not for me. I am going to be very happy once this month is over so I can feel like myself again, which is strange to even admit.

Here is a list of the things that I have on my list of things to finish/start:
- Finish a new car seat cover
- Refinish 4 dining room chairs (they are sanded, just haven't had a chance to paint and put new covers on the cushions).
- Create a Farm Table with the existing table we have, just make a new top and paint it.
- Decorate for Fall
- Paint kitchen cabinets! I have wanted to do this for over a year and it hasn't happened, but I finally got my husband to agree to let me do it!
- Make new pillows for our couches
- Recover a wing back chair I got for $10! Oh yeah!
- Make a headboard for our Master Bedroom, which also includes actually decorating our room!
- Finish the kids' rooms, still have a few things to do, but it's almost done.
- Sew a jacket for my daughter
- Find/make a new and smaller desk for our computer that is now in our dining room and taking up way too much space.
- Finish our fire pit in the backyard.
Yeah, that's the list, for now. I am sure I will be adding more to that list, but I think you get the idea. I will resume my regular posts as soon as things get back to normal, whatever normal is.

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